Findin Rooney a Girl Down the Jersey Shore Well, its Friday night, and youre still flyin solo, Rooney’s at the bar, but the vibe’s kinda low. Laura, Brooke, and Kathy, they’re just pals, nothing more, So we’re searchin’ for love all along the Jersey Shore. Hit the beach, hit the boardwalk, try to catch some eyes, Maybe trade your rusty ride for a car that screams prize. Or maybe James needs to fly back from Jupiter’s sands, Or Jeff could toss you some of his smooth-talking plans. We need to find you a girl, oh Rooney, we swear, Even the one in the back with short hair and no spare tooth care. We need to find you a girl, come on, step up your game, It’s the Jersey Shore, man, there’s no room for shame! Saturday night, let’s see your moves and slick lines, You’ve got the charm, but youre burnin’ through time. Maybe lower those standards, go for a 5 or a 6, Or pay for a hot one—hey, desperate times call for tricks. The boardwalk’s alive, the bars are in bloom, There’s love in the air if you don’t clear the room. We’ll be your wingmen, just give us a sign, We’ll scout out the girls, you just stay in line. We need to find you a girl, Big Rooney, tonight, Even if she’s missing teeth and her hair’s chopped tight. We need to find you a girl, maybe loosen that grip, Let’s get you a lady before the bars all flip. Oh, Rooney, don’t you fret, it’s all in good fun, There’s someone out there for everyone. The Shore’s got the gals, from Asbury to Cape May, Let’s find you Let’s find you a queen before it’s Sunday. We need to find you a girl, oh Rooney, don’t stop, [outro][Instrumental Interlude][fadeout][end]

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